My "stomach" isn't happy yet. I'm still feeling pain when I drink cold water or the protein milk – I take a drink, and I can feel it going down, and when it hits, I get a crampy pain in my stomach, and get the sweats, then a sharp pain, and it’s done. I have to let it sit for a while and get to room temperature, or I'll get pains when I drink. I haven't gotten beyond peanut butter, liver pate, oatmeal, crackers or pureed fruit yet for selections. I hope I'll be able to eat steak again sometime, but I'm sure that if I have to give it up forever in order to be healthy, it'll be worth it. I’ve upped my Demerol – I’m taking a tablet and a half every 3-4 hours. It helps me with the pain, and I’m moving around a lot. I guess that’s good.
PostOp Day 7 – January 5, 2000
Oh, my, God – will this pain never end? I am so sick of this abdominal binder! It’s digging into my sides (seriously, I’ve got welts, and scabs from where I scratched and tore off the irritated skin accidentally!), and makes it impossible to get comfortable! I’m still taking the Demerol, and still haven’t had a good night’s sleep yet. I wake up every time I toss or turn – oh, and I can’t turn! I have to sleep on my back (it really feels weird and hurts, both at the same time, when I try to lie on my side). And I can’t stand not moving, but when you lie on your back, there’s only one position to be in, so it’s impossible to get comfortable. I really tried last night not to take the Demerol, but after being up until 2:30AM, trying to toss and turn, I gave up and took one. I finally fell asleep around 3:30AM last night.
The food? Hmmmm, well, it’s not that bad. I haven’t had any cravings, because I haven’t felt like much (pretty much kept myself “out of it” on Demerol, so I didn’t have to deal with feeling anything). I have been eating textbook meals. I had yogurt and pureed peaches today for breakfast. It actually tasted pretty good. I have gotten into a routine with the protein powder – I mix up two days’ worth at a time (in chocolate milk), and I drink one cup between breakfast and lunch, and one cup between lunch and dinner. I had bananas and peanut butter on saltines for lunch today. I’ve learned that the best way to down two teaspoons of margarine each day is on a baked potato (well, a piece of a baked potato!). Now, that’s yummy!! I almost feel normal eating that!
As the day progresses, the pain is getting more bearable (finally!). I’m up and moving around a lot more – I can’t stand this one more day! I cough, and it hurts, but I cough a little more, and it hurts less each time. It’s weird, but I feel compelled to keep coughing. It feels like I’m massaging the muscles from the inside. I’m going to try to go to bed tonight without Demerol.
PostOp Day 8 – January 6, 2000
Wow, it’s a miracle! The pain isn’t there anymore – it’s just a dull discomfort, with a little pain when I cough, but again, I cough a second or third time, and it hurts less each time. I didn’t sleep well last night (again!) although I tried to turn on my side once or twice. Oh, well, it felt good just to be able to move. I woke up at 3:30AM, and just watched TV for a while. I can sleep during the day, if I get tired. I’m just not going to worry about it anymore, and I’m not taking any more Demerol – I don’t need it. I saw on the 4AM news that my employer’s biggest competitor was the biggest loser of the day (Wednesday) in the stock market. Cool. I called a co-worker to let him know, and asked him to spread the word at work. Okay, insomnia -- I’ll make something of it! Somewhere after 7AM, I finally fell back asleep, and slept ‘til 10:30AM. Nice.
Oatmeal again today, with pureed peaches again. That’s the only really irritating thing about this diet. Even the tiny can of peaches I bought seems like it’s going to last forever. And I should have drained it (peaches were canned in pear juice) before I pureed it. It’s peach soup! Oh, well, today I had salmon pate with crackers for lunch. Hmmm – sounds better than it tastes. And all this baby food -- I don’t know why I bought all this baby food. I don’t think I’m going to eat it. I just have this mental thing about it. I remember when I was feeding my son when he was a baby. You pretend to eat some, and then get him to eat some -- I never really put any in my mouth – I just have this aversion to it!
Well, today I was a slug. I’ve been so active lately. I guess I just wanted to rest and relax. I watched movies, and pretty much just sat in the recliner all day. I’d get up every hour or two to walk around, but I have to hold my belly, and it’s hard to walk comfortably.
PostOp Day 9 – January 7, 2000
I was up a lot today. I helped supervise the cleaning out of my utility room, and that was rather taxing. I didn’t lift anything myself (well, maybe a sock and a can of cleaner, and a chair a few times), but by the time it was almost over, I was shaking. Then it was time to go to the doctor and get these staples out. About time! The skin around them has been getting redder and redder over the last few days. I guess it’s my new regimen of adjusting the binder every time it bunches up. I’ll keep this damn thing (binder) straight if it kills me!
Well, I got the staples out, and I’ve lost 18 pounds!! Pretty good for nine days! And they said I could drive! I feel liberated!
I watched a movie tonight with my stepmom, and then returned it to Blockbuster later, after I watched it again (it was such a great movie!). It was so nice driving. I took a cruise around Sterling, and ended up near Taco Bell. Hmmmm – I haven’t eaten dinner yet. Gee, maybe I could – yeah, why not. A chicken soft taco is perfect food : tomato, lettuce, cheese, chicken (and no sauce) on a flat tortilla. Yeah. I did it. I bought one and took it home. I couldn’t eat the whole thing, and I chewed like hell, and it took me a half hour to eat a half a chicken soft taco, but it went down fine, and no pain, no rejection. I was terrified that I might not get it all chewed well enough, and I did manage to spit out the tomato seeds I found. My stomach has passed its first major test! Of course, I flunked mine! I shouldn’t have eaten “real” food yet, but I just had to. It made me feel human. And of course, it spurred me to update my diary and confess, so I guess it wasn’t all bad. I guess time will tell…
Oh, yeah -- I learned today that it's okay to remove the binder at night. So I tossed it in the washer for the first time in 9 days (yech!). Seriously, I was terrified to take it off - -I thought maybe I'd stretch out my muscle or something, so I've been wearing it 24x7 for 9 days (okay, except when I was showering). Man, this feels great.
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